Because.... I feel guilty... Boo!

I have noticed that I have not been on my blog in a long time. A serious amount of long.... Lots has happened in that time. My bestest friend got poisoned, and died (a kitty, dont get you panties in a knot) and someone decided the best way to get me back into the land of giving a damn... was to dump a 6 week old Saint Bernard mix puppy into our yard. *sigh*

Said puppy is now 9 months old, and 110+ pounds as of this very moment. Maybe a little more. She just finished eating a piece of firewood. So, yeah, maybe a little more. She eats everything. Like a cartoon goat. But minus the cartoon part.  Its going to be interesting to watch her continue to develop, and grow. She loves people. Everyone. Im betting she would go home with anyone that offered her a treat.. Try it, Ill wait.......

She has demolished our backyard. Burying things, digging them up, digging for gold, which, I am still hoping for. It would help pay for her food bill! She is a busy girl. She is in a continuing cycle of getting beaten up by any one of our 4 cats.  She is afraid of THE DARK. I find myself trying to reason that out. How is it, that a gigantic pooch is so afraid of the dark, that we have to walk outside with her, and turn on the patio light, for her to go pee? Also, afraid of deer. That confuses me also.

                                                                       Tinneh baby Bugsy!

Grown up, kinda, Bugsy

With all of the love that she brings into our lives, I still find myself in tears. Crying for what I lost. I miss Bugsy. I feel like my heart is still in pieces. And most of them are missing. I want him back. I want to be able to snuggle with him, rub his belly, and sleep with him stretched out next to me. And, it will never happen again. I hate it.

And, the holiday season is rushing towards us.. I get to go spend the next week at Morgans. Going to go see TSO, again!!! YAY!!!! and spending general sister time. And Thanksgiving. We need this week.


Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Whatever happened to warm sunny days?

In case it has escaped your notice, it has not escaped mine, summer is over. No more warm sunny afternoons. No more walking through the green grass, in bare feet. The grass is brown and all crispy now. Also, its too damn cold to be barefoot!

Im thinking I want to build (ie;make Gary build) a huge dome over our house, and backyard. So that no snow gets in. Or cold bitter winter wind. And the cats can go out, and lay in the warmth. You might have noticed, that I did not include the front yard. It can snow there. So I can have my winter, if I want it. I dont think I am asking for the impossible here. I do not want to wait until June for warm sunny days again.

Random.... plus 1

I promised random... here goes...

I overheard a conversation at work last week. Actually, since I joined in, I dont think it really qualifies as "overheard". Not that it matters. Anyway...... it was between two ladies, discussing how seldom they use deodorant.

WHAT?!?!?

I was, for a lack of better phrasing, grossed out.

They were talking about how one of them, never (as in not a single say, ever) uses deodorant. (*gag*) And the other said, only once in awhile.

Seriously?

Seriously.

I thought basic hygiene required deodorant, if you were past puberty. Sweat glands do not produce pleasant summery perfumes. No matter who you are. *gag*

It grosses me out. And I have to work with them. Ewww.

Its raining outside (which, I might add, is a ton better than it raining inside. Promise). Now, normally, I love the rain. I love the way it smells afterwards, the sounds of it on the roof. Watching it. I love it all.

Except.

My windshield wipers are apparently political. They are refusing to work. They keep blowing a fuse. So, driving in the rain.... not so great actually.

I am crossing my fingers and hoping for a drought. Its not looking good though.

Cat hair. Its my enemy today. Liza has barbered herself, again. And there are a gazillion piles of black hair all over the carpet. *sigh* Maybe she needs kitty xanax during the summer. Maybe I do too.

Is next month REALLY August?

I was blindsided this morning. Right out of the blue. My sister informs me that next month is August, and almost time for me to think about working on my Christmas cards. August?? How in the hell did that happen?? It would have been different had it came gradually... you know, one month at a time.. But, all of a sudden, its next month! Crap..

I usually have Chikkinmas ideas running out of my brain by now. This year, my brain is on vacation. It is thinking of house remodeling. It didnt have time, or the extra space, to think of Chikkinmas too. Days either need to stop going by so damn fast... or someone needs to give me ideas for chikkins... Either way, Chikkinmas is going to be a crap shoot if I dont do something soon!!!

Vacation, only a day (plus some) away.....

Gah... On Saturday, tomorrow morning, we officially start our vacation. Fishing, boating on the river. I cant wait. Cant wait to sit and listen to the water rushing by. For the birds, singing their various songs in the trees. Watching the swirls in the water, as it goes by the side of the boat. Plus, fish! So, yay! Maybe fish. Not a ton of fish up this far yet, but a few. There is a slight chance we will actually catch a few, but, I am not going to hold my breath.

Mostly though, I need the time away from work. I am feeling myself getting hostile. I do not like the way that feels. My brain runs constantly. No pattern, or reason, mostly random thoughts. I feel frustrated by things happening here at work, that I cant do anything about, and I know, from years of experience, that they are being handled in the worst possible ways. Or even worse, not at all. I want to grab people, shake them, and say "wtf is WRONG with you?". That does not seem like it would be the correct answer to the problems. Crap.

I have tons to do still. All of the things that need done at the last minute. And I am out of energy, and ambition. Its taking all of my concentration to get through the time at work..

I dont think 10 days will be enough......

Morbid? Do you really think?

I have had the "when I die" conversations over and over again with my Mother. She says "cremate me, throw my ashes off of the porch". Since I am not exactly known for being politically correct (bwahahaha!!), and, I read things like Oddee, I said to her "We arent throwing them off of the porch, we are making Diamonds!" (see how I even capitalized it? for the impact, you know).

See? pretty...

Yes, friends, I am making my Mother into pretty blue Diamonds. It was a joke. A "take that Mom" joke. She rolled her eyes at me. She doe

s that a lot. Anyway, I had discovered Lifegems on Oddee.com. It was an article about all of the odd alternatives to a conventional burying. Which has told me she absolutely refuses. So, in jest, after showing this idea to my sister, we showed Mom. She was fine with it. Completely fine.

My sister put some thought into this idea. She said she thinks it is a good idea, and will be a comfort, after Mom is gone, to have her with us always. Hmmm.. interesting, I need to ponder on this awhile.......

Okay, I see where she is coming from, and, I think I agree. I am pretty sure I feel the same way. Yes, its expensive, but its forever. And that part, that, is a comforting thought.

Thoughts running through my poor brain.....

Sitting here, the entire house is quiet, for the moment, and I am alone with my thought(s). Random thoughts are running through my brain.

Did I get any sleep today? I dont feel like I did. If I have to pretend I want to be here for one more hour, I am going to cut my tongue out with a spoon. Will Mao be okay while we are on vacation? Will the weather be good? Is there any chance we might accidentally catch a big dogtooth while fishing? I want another shower. I miss my Mom. How can Gary sleep on these uncomfortable as hell couches? I have the munchies, but didnt bring anything good. I cant wait to go to bed when i get home. What will happen tomorrow? Why didnt i get chocolate? Sometimes, I wish I drank. I miss my Dad. A lot. I feel emotional, and I hate that feeling. Will it snow a lot this winter? I love it when it snows.. I love christmas trees, the way they smell, look, feel. I love watching the flickering light of a fire... Sigh..... I hate the people that live next door to us... I do not want to bring in firewood, the shed is full right now, why cant it stay that way? I need to prune the apple trees... and the plum tree.... oh yeah, I hate the next door people. We had deer in the yard the other morning. They ate a new tree to the ground.... damn deer.... If I had three wishes........ I have no clue what i would wish for...... I cannot wait to be in the boat, watching the river flow by....

I need a brake for my brain....